Even Steven

First, in the category “Lame Things That Defy Reason:”

So we all remember that I am recovering from my stint in an iron lung. I am on antibiotics to speed this recovery. The antibiotics, for the record, are the size of golf balls. And it says right there on the little bottle: “Do NOT do anything to make taking these pills easy or comfortable! For God’s sake, do NOT take these with water! NOT to be consumed with liquid of ANY KIND! Choke these babies down whole and dry, swallowing as if you were trying to force a marshmallow down your esophagus while yodeling!”

But, having the reckless disregard for little printed warnings that I have (some day I will tell you about the contact lenses and the WD-40), I grabbed a cup of water to help with the golf-ball swallowing process. And, with wanton disregard for my own well-documented clumsiness, placed pill in one hand, held water in other hand, and went for it. And…and I so wish I was kidding…missed my mouth with both items. Flipped my left hand up with the pill, completely bypassed my mouth and flung the pill over my shoulder. But, since I had started these motions near simultaneously, I couldn’t quite stop the follow-up swing with the hand holding the cup. And as I had turned my head slightly to frown at the flying pill, the water, with full ready-to-be-drunk-momentum behind it, splashed out of the cup all over my face.

I’m not sure how long I can get away with the “I’m still recovering from hemorrhagic fever” excuse, but I’m going to insert it here because I have nothing any more sound to offer.

So let’s move on. Nothing more to see here.

This is what we did to the family room the other night:

Does it make you want to build a fort?

But it’s okay, because we did it to find this:

Why is the other picture in clearer focus? I had better light for this one.

For the record, we removed every single cushion and pillow from the couch, and still had to actually lift up the couch to find the lens cover.

We blame the cats. Evil cats. Evil, hockey-playing cats.

So for the -5 points that I sustain for totally disassembling the living room I also get +5 points for finding the missing lens cover.

I’m holding my ground for the moment, but a reckoning is coming. Brace yourselves and tune in tomorrow.

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