I warned you all.
Hide now. In a closet. With your favorite blanket and something chocolatey.
Prayers, prayers might also be good.
Wait, that’s not for you all, that’s for me.
Except there is no closet in this house with enough room for me, my blanket, and the concilliatory chocolate.
But that’s another post.
So I will just have to face the music. Pay the piper. Sleep in the bed I made. Well that just doesn’t work…the bed hasn’t been made since Easter.
In the last week I may have let slip, purely unintentionally, in a casual, off-hand manner, that I was a tad under the weather.
With the PLLLAAAAAGGGGGUUUUUUEEEEE!
Yes, that’s it! The Plague!
You know why I like that one so much? I can blame it on the cats.
Ok, really, we all know that the cats had nothing to do with me being sick (that I can prove) and that it’s not their fault that I have done nothing even remotely Martha-Points-Worthy since my temperature returned to normal. But I really have been coasting on the life-threatening-catastrophic-medical-condition-wherein-I-was-hovered-over-by-vultures just a wee bit too long.
And I can’t live with it any more. The guilt will eventually start to be worse the the fever.
I did try walking around the house and leaning listlessly against the walls and coughing, wrist pressed to forehead, but you really can’t pull that off without period costuming and I will never again be caught dead in anything with an empire waist.
In fact, the only thing I did that was even remotely Point-Worthy was make a chocolate-chip banana bread from scratch. Which would have been good for an easy 6 or 8 points, if only it had not broken into a dozen pieces like the heart of the A-V guy who pines over the Prom Queen.
So here goes.
Remember me fondly, please?
Current score: +30 points
- Bag of birthday wrapping debris left in bedroom where it was set upon by feline jackals and strewn over no less than 50 square feet of carpet: -6 points
- Hammer and chisel installed in kitchen for the sake of leveraging jargs and cartons off of the refrigerator shelves they have atomically bonded to due to mystery spillage: -5 points
- Developing new shades of brown and green for the fall line of “In Your Abandoned Vegetable Bin”: -6 points
- Empty toilet paper tubes stacked like Lincoln logs in the master bath:-3 points
- Chipped paint that the April-Hailstorm-of-Doom scraped from the trellis and scattered all over the deck like shredded wheat still lying, unswept, on the deck (like…ummm…shredded wheat): -5 points
- AND…I made shake and bake and pasta-roni for dinner last night (a double whammy): -4 points
Which brings my new total to: 1 point
One point may actually be more pitiful than zero points, or negative points. One point almost makes it look like I wasn’t trying hard enough to do myself in. Like I didn’t really mean it.
Oh how the mighty have fallen.