This does not look like a child who is doing dishes.
Neither does this:
I must be doing something wrong.
These children do not look sufficiently downtrodden.
Apparently I did not create enough of a mess while I was cooking.
Tonight I’m going to burn something.
They shouldn’t be having FUN while they’re scrubbing the pots and pans.
I’m also going to make them clean out the fireplace. We don’t actually have fires in it, but I’m going to spill something in it on purpose. Just because.
But since my kids are so good-natured about the things we ask them to do around the house, I was inspired.
So, I made peanut butter crackers. AND, I made peanut butter cookies.
If you do not yet fully appreciate the distinction, go here.
Child C decided to be my food photographer. Except that she doesn’t quite understand the camera yet and things like the flash popping up startle her.
So she turns dials, and presses buttons and some of them turn out, and some of them make my hands look like something from “The Corpse Bride.”
I didn’t link those.
So here’s a photo of…uhh…yes, these are the crackers.
And yep, that’s Costco peanut butter. We have three teenagers. We could own stock in Skippy and still not come out ahead.
Then the girl wanted an action shot:
And you might be wondering where, exactly, the action is.
The egg slipped into the bowl long before the shutter snapped. Child C, it appeared, had forgotten about gravity.
Wait till she’s my age. She won’t forget then.
And here are crackers being squashed by your classic squashing utensil.
And it would be a huge help to me if you could imagine that the dark, ugly cookie sheet is actually a shiny, titanium alloy that never needs scrubbing and bakes cookies with laser like precision. At least, that’s my fantasy. (I’m remembering this very second that we bought new cookie sheets when we did our marathon Christmas-Bake-A-Lot, but I bake cookies so seldom that I didn’t remember that till just now when I was griping about how ugly the cookie sheet in that picture was. THIS is another reason I don’t like shopping, I FORGET WHAT CRAP I ALREADY OWN.)
Ok, back to the baking.
And here….oh yes, here….here is where the crackers become cookies. This was my favorite part.
There may have been some eating straight from the bowl. Maybe. Or maybe not. I’m not admitting anything. Not after what Julia did to me. I’m still traumatized and heaven only knows what sort of watch lists I’ve ended up on.
And here are freshly baked crackers:
Yes, there’s one missing. It broke. It was weak. I had to think about the strength of the herd. So…I ate it.
And then, a little while later, there were cookies:
And then there was heaven on a napkin.
So. Now then. Previous score: +27 points
- For making cookies (and crackers) for my family: +10 points
- For using my family as guinea pigs with an untested cookie recipe: -2 points
- For tasty cookiness regardless of experimentation: +3 points
- For crumbly cookies falling apart in the hands of hungry teenagers and contributing to the perma-crud on my floor: -5 points
Which brings my new total to: +33 points
Which is really, really good, because there’s a bathroom tile situation brewing that I can tell is gonna slap those points down a few mildewy notches.