This is unprecedented.
In my entire adult life, I have never managed this. I’ve tried. Oh, how I’ve tried. And failed. And other, innocent lives have paid the price.
I got an orchid to bloom.
Of course, it was blooming when it was given to us almost a year ago. It bloomed for a good month. Then it stopped.
Just like all the others….but…we don’t talk about them now. It’s better that way.
Despite having a decorating fetish and being fairly good with outdoor plants, I do not have what we could call a stellar track record with the indoor variety. I believe, in fact, you would call what I have more along the lines of a piteously murderous track record.
Here is a partial list of the plants that have met an untimely death at the hands of yours truly:
- Ficuses (fici?)
- Maidenhair ferns
- Boston ferns
- Asparagus Ferns
- Areca palms
- Bamboo palms
- Miniature roses
- Shamrocks (and aren’t those basically a weed?)
- Oakleaf ivy
- English ivy
- Many, many, many orchids
Here’s the evidence that I am not doomed to be the Floral Grim Reaper (or is that Grim Floral Reaper?) for forever. Sitting here proudly in my flour-coated kitchen.
It actually sprouted buds a few days ago, but I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to jinx it. Orchids are HUGELY susceptible to jinxing. They can also be damaged by being too close to psychic or emotional stresses. For instance: dieting, paying taxes, worrying about what’s making that sound under the house or trying to read the manual for any small electronic appliance.
I do worry a bit that I have accumulated too many black marks on the Great Orchid Death Register. I know someone (or something) out there is keeping track, and I’m pretty sure that the next time an orchid purchase registers on either my credit or debit card, an official looking person wearing a suit, dark glasses and an earpiece is going to ring my doorbell, present a notarized piece of paper, search my house, confiscate my orchid, and make nasty remarks about the quality of my aluminum siding.
But this one was a gift so I’m safe.
And it bloomed!
And for coaxing this lovely orchid into blooming (and by “coaxing,” I mean leaving it on the windowsill for the better part of a year and watering it when I noticed it sitting there), I award myself: +4 Martha Points.
Bringing my total to: +33 (after baking cookies) -10 (for committing multiple blogger faux-pas) +4 (for amazing horticulturocity), which equals: +27 points.
And you know what goes with orchids?
Right. Martinis. I’m glad we’re all on the same page here.
This post happily linked to Sweet Shot Tuesday at My 3 Boybarians.