But will they forward my mail?


That’s me now! Ooh look!

*sigh* Fundamentally I am WAY too easily amused.

Also, an excellent question was asked this week by Nixthings about the crackers from last week.

“Lori,” she asks, “Why – if you wanted cookies, and your insanely irrational rules dictate that the only way a cookie can be a cookie if it has chocolate – did you start with crackers, which you were obviously displeased with, and go through all this work to turn them into cookies instead of just starting with cookies in the first bloody place and save us all LEAST three pictures to wade through?”

1. Nixthings is Australian,  so I’m sure she’d say something like “first bloody place.”

2. Nixthings is lovely and wouldn’t ever actually ask me a question phrased like that because she seems to have impeccable manners so I may have exaggerated slightly in the way I paraphrased.

But that’s a perfectly reasonable question to ask. And often I forget that just because you can read the words I write here that it doesn’t mean you can actually see into my head and get all the backstory.

And I’m so GOOD with backstory, normally. I can do backstory backwards and forwards. Mostly people have to urge me to just MOVE THE DAMNED STORY ALONG.

Sort of like now for instance.

But the answer is: Child B (the oldest) is convinced that chocolate makes his acne flare up, despite me and his doctor backed by the entire  American Medical Association telling him that this is not so. He claims to  have done controlled  studies. In labs, with white coats and mice. And he’s pretty determined. He thinks there’s a link, he likes his skin free from blemish, and so he does not eat chocolate. We’re not sure he’s a real teenager, we think he may be remotely controlled  by some hostile alien species waiting to take over the world one iPod at a time (it would explain so much, wouldn’t it?). But regardless, he’ll go without a treat if the only treat is chocolate, so because I love him THAT MUCH, I sacrificed one third of my perfectly good cookie dough and turned into cracker dough.

For which I retro-actively give myself +3 Martha Points.

Bringing my new total to: +22 points.

Not bad for a day’s work.


  1. I’m glad you cleared up that the comment wasn’t quite that snarky! I was about to get really snotty with the comment giver. Have I mentioned I’m real tired of snarky comment givers? Did I?

    1. Oh she wasn’t snarky in any way at all. I snarked it up for the humor value.

      And although you haven’t specifically mentioned hating the snarky commenters, I did notice that the language on your own comment box had changed and I wondered perhaps if there had been some…ummm…”inspiration” for that.

      You want I should call my cousin Guidon and have some kneecaps breaked?

  2. What a nice cracker making mother you are!!

    In my family, my daughter follows the Martha Rules of Cookies, and therefore I don’t have this problem (thankfully!!)

  3. THANKYOU for clearing up about my comment!! I was so excited to see I’d rated a mention and then so horrified at the way it was said (me too MANDI) – desperately racking my brain to try to remember if I had expressed myself like that ….and then thinking No i really enjoy that blog there’s no “bloody” way I’d say that… would I?
    The wonderful adjective “bloody” gave it away as I so very very rarely use it except to be ironic…

    so thanks mate!
    (I do use the term mate, you cannot be Australian and not use it, sorry, -3 martha points)

    1. Hee hee…I can’t imagine in a million years you would say something like that.

      But…d’oh! I should have known about the “mate” thing. I’ve met tons of Australian peoples!

      Yes…a totally fair point deduction.


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