This Week in Martha Points

Yes…I’ve been avoiding this.

I had other, more fun, less painful things to blog about. You know, like killer bees and how I infiltrated the very top levels of WordPress while wearing sunglasses and a fake mustache. And it was really tempting today to wax poetic about how annoyed I am that Candice Olson works in Canada or how the lack of a 50-calorie Snickers bar is an ongoing cause for violent uprisings petitions and letter-writing.

And in a spirit of deep, embedded, therapy-resistant denial, I thought that if I just ignored it, it would go away.

I should know better.

It’s time for a Points Tally.

In my defense, I would like to state that 1)I had a conference I had to go to for the better part of a week Saturday, 2)we’ve had at least 2 or 3 dozen kids that are not ours spending days hours at our house, and 3) a massive, ugly, community-threatening nest of wasps was discovered under the dining room table deck and one thousand wasps got into the house causing me to seek urgent psychiatric help vodka tonics pest control interventions.

So how anyone can expect anything of me I don’t even know.

But despite my best attempts at deflecting responsibility, I can’t avoid my fate any longer.

And today, to shake things up a bit, we’re going to Points By Category. Who knows? It may become a recurring feature.

So without further ado…

Previous score: + 17 points

In the Category of: Lamest Act of Laziness Ever

That is not...I repeat NOT...grime on the answering machine. It's its winter coat.

FL = Full. So not only do we not answer the phone, we can’t even be bothered to stand next to the machine long enough to push “delete” once we’ve played the message that wasn’t important enough for us to walk to the phone for in the first place.  -5 Points

In the Category of: Things I Can Take Credit for When No Actual Effort Was Involved

This one grew in MY yard! Mine!

The effort I expended on this rosebush is roughly equivalent to the effort I  have expended on solving the mystery of the Bermuda Triangle. ie: none at all. But, it’s gorgeous, it grew in MY YARD and did not require me to lure the neighbors’ flowers over my fence under false pretenses. + 6 Points

In the Category of: Most Ludicrous Procrastination Activity to Avoid Folding Laundry in the History of Dirty Clothes

Meet Zippy the Penhead.

Himself brought this ridiculous thing back from a conference for me and it makes me laugh every time I look at it. Which is not often, because I have to keep it hidden in a desk drawer or the cats will maul each other for it. But I thought to myself, because yes, thoughts do on occasion occur in my head, “That’s a funny thing to take a picture of and show people who read my blog…” but that simple thought turned into a quest for the perfect background and the most artistic shot because MY GOD I WAS LOSING THE LIGHT, and I spent WAY more time on this than was in any way appropriate. -7 points

In the Category of: Relatively Decent Domestic Engineering

Yes, this is a PW recipe. And Yes, it has butter.

EVERY meal I prepared this week involved actual preparation. With ingredients. And heat. + 8 points.

Updated score: +19 Martha Points

Wow…I’m in awe. I really didn’t think there was any way I was going to come out of that ahead.

Which means…chocolate for Lori! It may be in the form of stale Tollhouse Morsels, but anyone who thinks I am picky about chocolate has not been reading carefully enough.

This post happily linked to Follow Me Fridays at The Trendy Treehouse! (My blog can’t handle the blog-hop, but head back to The Treehouse to continue the party!)


  1. Oooooooooh, is that the tomato and bleu cheese pasta PW featured this week? Mmmmm. I bought two giant cans of tomatoes yesterday in the hopes of making it sometime this weekend. Even though I’m the only person in my house who likes bleu cheese.

    I made the chicken sandwich last night for dinner (again, only person who likes spinach and red onion too) and it was heavenly.

    I LOVE that pen! On behalf of all your readers, THANK YOU for putting so much effort into taking pictures of it for our amusement. I would award you extra Martha points for “Acts of Service.”

    1. It’s actually a subtle variation on her artichoke and spaghetti recipe (the subtlety being that I din’t have spaghetti, I had bow-ties.)

      And I ADORE blue cheese, but Himself can’t do cheese. Imagine me weeping right about here.

      And the pictures are the most fun. I’m getting better. More things are in focus. : )

  2. That looks delish. I love PW. Have you tried her chicken parmigiana? Looks like you did great this week! You inspired me to make peanut butter crackers for work.. (That should = MP because Martha is all about inspiring!)

    1. Yes, I adore her chicken parmigiana. Chicken. Butter. Cheese. Butter.

      All my faves!

      And way to go on the crackers! (And I hope you educated your colleagues about WHY they are crackers. We need to spread the word.)

  3. Congratulations. If you keep this up we may not be able to relate to you anymore. Be careful. Your success may be your ruin. A few frozen pizzas might even our the score for next week. Good luck.

    1. Happy to oblige!

      I wish I’d scored better to show you what I can really do! (Except I’m in negative numbers more often than positive numbers, so….maybe this was a good day for you to see them live.)

  4. Tip: if you ever make a Martha recipe, twitter the blog post with hash tag #everydayfood. They actually read them!!! I got a tweet from one of Martha’s peeps on my food blog saying they liked my presentation of cashew chicken! It’s the highlight of my bloggy life thus far. I think it’s all downhill from here.

  5. Add 5 cal pizza, 25 cal ben and jerrys, and 15 calcake to that petition. You think our waistlines have a class action suit against the makers for make high calorie heaven so addictive?!

  6. Hello, found you through hopping around.

    You are as funny as others promised.

    I love the Martha points.

    So many clever women out there…I think I’ll just shut down.

    Kidding..but I feel like it , for a few seconds, when awestruck with someone’s awesomeness and martha index…

    1. LOL…I read so many blogs and think, “What the heck am I doing? I’m not as funny/creative/insightful as she is…” but then I keep writing anyway, and someone wonderful like you leaves me a comment that makes my day!

      So there you go. And I’m so glad you enjoy it. : )

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