I was inspired. Inspired by KLZ @ Taming Insanity.
She complained about feeling like her brains were leaking out her ears.
And it was like a bell struck deep in my soul. I feel like my brains are leaking out my ears. I feel like my brains are leaking out of my ears all the time. I even say things like, “If I have to tell you that ONE MORE TIME my BRAINS WILL LEAK OUT MY EARS!” At work I talk about how all the paperwork causes my brains to leak out my ears.
Lori says all the time that she feels like her brains are leaking out her ears.
-A Co-Worker of Lori’s
And when KLZ said that she felt like her brain was leaking out her ears, I felt…connected. Validated. I knew I was not alone in the sensation of escaping cortical material.
And I knew that Something Had To Be Done.
So I took to the drawing board. (Note: I do not have a drawing board.) I sketched for hours. (Note: this is a fairly large exaggeration.) I toiled and sweated. (Note: May or may not be true. I use a good anti-persperant. Hard to tell.) And the end result is simply a masterpiece.
The Brain Absorbing Sponge™ *
No more do we have to worry about lost gray matter, matted hair and stained clothing. No more do we need to worry about those embarassing moments in the check-out line at the grocery store when a polite little old lady taps us discreetly on the shoulder and whispers, “Dearie, I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but your ‘brain friend’ is visiting.” No more do we need to fret about how – after a full day of brain tissue loss – we will muster up the cognitive processes necessary for preparing dinner, helping with English homework or negotiating later bed-times with children who clearly spent all day at the Boalt School of Law honing their debate skills to laser-fine cutting accuracy.
Those worries are things of the past.
With the new Brain Absorbing Sponge™ you can be assured of plugging all brain leaks and avoiding spills and stains.
But wait! There’s more!
Now available: Brain Absorbing Sponge™ with Shoulder Mount (patent pending)!
Don’t waste valuable energy and appendages holding the Sponge against your head! With the new Shoulder Mount (patent pending) you’ll be hands free! Totally ready to make cell phone calls while driving! (Note: don’t do this.)
Allow the following illustrations to show you how your life will be better with the new Brain Absorbing Sponge™ with Shoulder Mount (patent pending).
I fully believe that this is the technology we’ve been waiting for. THIS is what will forward the Cause and shatter the glass ceiling. THIS is what will finally give us the edge over the toddler and pre-teen crowd that we’ve been so desperate for.
And here’s the best part: Since this clearly improves the appearance and hygienic-ness of any environment, I can give myself Points for it! (Ok, that may just be the best part for me.)
I think the marketing potential is endless. Sky’s the limit. Truly I don’t know why no one thought of it before.
I promise to remember you all when I’m rich and famous.
*Not to be confused with contraceptive sponges. Contraceptive sponges should NOT be used to keep brains from leaking out of ears. Plus they don’t come with Shoulder Mounts (patent pending.)
This post linked with much silliness to “Works For Me Wednesday” at We Are THAT Family.
Also linked to “Tickled Pink Blog Hop” at 504 Main. But as blog hops don’t work here in the Twilight Zone, please Hop Back to keep going!