Counter Intuitive

Intuition. The right of every one of us who were born with ovaries. As integral as the mammary gland. Women’s intuition. Powerful mojo.

Except I don’t have any.

I’m not sure why I did not get my rightful allocation. Did I miss a day somewhere? Did I fail to get the memo about the change of venue for distribution? Who got mine and where do I go to pry it from their greedy hands?

If I get a compulsion to buy lottery tickets or invest in the stock market, that is the time to hide your cash in your mattress. Calling up the friend in a panic because I have just had a psychic flash of their death in a fiery car crash ensures that they are at Starbucks contentedly sipping a latte. (And no, my intuition is not simply reversed – psychic flashes of friends sipping lattes means that in reality they are scrubbing toilets, or having their pets spayed – it varies.)

It seems so unfair. I don’t get hunches. Or when I do they have about as much bearing on reality as “Sex in the City” does. I can’t follow my gut –all that does is bring me to the nearest McDonald’s drive through.

A man I dated once told me that people don’t listen to what the universe is telling them, and that frustration, dead-end roads and failed ventures are simply a disregard to the clues the cosmos was putting in their path.

Well, I grabbed onto that philosophy, I can tell you. I am nothing if not a good listener. Obviously my dysfunctional intuition was a matter of inattention to the whispered directions the universe was giving me to navigate with, and much like the idiot deciding the “BRIDGE OUT – TURN AROUND” sign was really meant for other people, my blatant dismissal of the communications being sent my way was where intuitive disaster was being courted.

Until I thought about it a little harder. Many of the things I’ve accomplished in my life – the things I’m most proud of – took serious determination. College was long and grueling – finishing through to a master’s degree took eight years, three majors, four colleges, seven jobs, and $15k in loans. Not exactly the most obstacle free of routes, you might say. Conceiving my son took two years of fertility management. Not quite what nature intended. And the move to Europe  – one of the best adventures of my life – was six continuous months of every single thing that needed to happen going wrong the first time. It was the relocation equivalent of running the gauntlet.

So, listening to the universe better isn’t the answer either, because intuition or no, I’m not about to let every obstacle I encounter force a direction change.

I’ll simply try my best to accept my limitations, acknowledging that I do not have the psychic magnetic north that many of my sisters-in-estrogen appear to unquestioningly have. I will continue to navigate the world minus this sense, and hope that people who love me think no less of me.

At least I have a kick-ass sense of direction. So I may not be able to see where we’re going ahead of time, but we damn well won’t get lost.

30 comments

  1. Interesting and well-written post.

    I just wrote a post about my mindset of “everything happens for a reason”. Not sure if it’s along the same lines or not, but that’s what I believe. All of those obstacles are there for a reason. I think overcoming them and achieving your goal make you who you are.

    1. Oooh…need to read that one.

      And I think we are defined a lot by our obstacles. ie: the way we dispatch them or the ones we can’t quite overcome.

  2. We kind of raise our kids along this line of thinking. We tossed the handbooks out (all 10 of them and all 10 of them saying different things) and just followed our guts. Our kids are 16 and 10 and they’re still alive and thriving, so I guess we’re doing something right.

    Very thoughtful post today.

    1. In most cases, I find books more problem than they’re worth. I WANT them to work, it’s so nice to feel like you have a tool to work with. But when you spend half your time reading going, “HUH?” you start to appreciated that really, someone just wanted to sell a book.

      I do still keep buying them though…somewhere out there someone’s got to have written SOMETHING helpful, right?

  3. I admit, I have absolutely no common sense. None whatsoever – if you’re ever in a situation where I should be exhibiting common sense, you’re likely to leave thinking I’m a complete idiot.

    I’m not sure, but I feel that intertwines with intuition, meaning I have neither.

    Man, that’s sad.

    1. Ok, do you eat the geraniums?No, there. That’s a perfectly good start to common sense.

      We just need to expand your repertoire a bit. ;)

  4. I’m a person who does get a gut feeling, and it’s usually right. But I agree that I don’t think any road blocks are meant to “tell” you that you need to change course. If that was the case, who would ever be able to get anything accomplished?

    1. I envy people with intelligent guts.

      Mine just wants french fries.

      And I think my former date’s philosophy was that if you listen to the universe and flow around obstacles that you end up accomplishing *different* things and with less strife and angst.

      Eh…sounds nice, but I still had things i WANTED damnit, and if they took work, then so be it.

  5. I have the same problem, only no sense of direction either, so that explains a few things about my life! This was a post to ponder for me.

    1. I’m really going to insist that NOT eating geraniums is something that we can all collectively be proud of in the common sense department.

  6. I don’t have great “gut” instinct for a lot of things – only the huge, major, life-altering things. In those situations I seem to have a different set of listening ears on, and the path has always been made obvious to me. for day to day stuff, I pretty much muddle through cluelessly – hence my blog name :)

    1. I would happily take even that much intuition! Really, I have none. Nada. Doesn’t matter how big or small the crisis.

      Zero. Zip. Zilch. It’s comical.

    1. I have many amazing sistersin-estrogen. :)

      And I think so, working hard to get past something is often a skill that needs to be learned and practiced. Giving up is easy.

      And artful yelling? Takes practice.

  7. I should listen to my gut, because it’s usally right, but for some reason I don’t most of the time. It’s like I think if I listen to it, it will be wrong.

    I also lack the common sense like Megan was talking about. One time I kept my mom’s dog overnight. She told me to put him in his cage and cover him up with his blanket at bed time. So I did. But he didn’t like having the blanket right on top of him and wouldn’t lay still to keep it on! Turns out she meant to cover up his cage with the blanket. Never even occurred to me! I still get a lot of crap for that one…

    I have NO sense of direction! I envy that you do ;)

  8. I don’t really have that whole intuition thing going on….or a good sense of direction. When I think about it, it is surprising that I even found my way here today!!

    1. Learning left from right is overrated.

      That’s why we have shoes with buckles. Otherwise, who the hell can tell what shoe should go where?

  9. That was mighty brave of you to admit that. I’m not ready to admit the same of myself. I think I’ll go on living in lala land for a little while longer. Don’t tell anyone that I even hinted that I know I’m not intuitive, k?

  10. If we’re defining ‘women’s intuition’ in traditional terms, than I too, and psychically disabled. However, MY definition is a tad more complex. For your reference:

    Intuition [in-too-ish-uhn] — noun. A mental disorder characterized by accelerated paranoia that occasionally hits the mark. Presents most frequently in the female gender and can lead to random obedience when leveraged in association with requesting that loved ones take fewer risks and call home once in awhile.

    1. Well, yes, except for that ‘occasionally hitting the mark’ part.

      Never. Nope. Nada. Broken antenna. ANTI-intuition.

      PS – Glad you’re back. Missed you!

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