Don’t you just say that all the time?
“You know what the yard needs, Madge?”
“Oooh, that’d be nice. The Bedfords got one last week.”
But if you find that the full-fledged, multi-story, kitchily-decorated, slot machine and roulette table extravaganza is a little much, you know what the next best thing is?
The funny thing is, I only picked up the ashtray because it was the right shape. Then I saw the “Nugget Casino” on the bottom, and that made it essential. The Nugget Casino logo (which is about to be lost to obscurity due to its no-longer-being-visible-ness) is going to work its way into family lore, because it just begs for a provocative anecdote to explain how we got it. Picking it up in an antique glass store, despite the fact that we had just pushed a car out of a ditch, doesn’t do this little treasure justice.
Ok, let’s see…
While Himself and I were on a roadtrip home from Reno, no…Roswell New Mexico. While on our way home from Roswell, New Mexico, we detoured to Reno because Wayne Newton…no…Conway Twitty…NO, Jimmy Buffet AND the ghost of Johnny Cash were headlining at The Nugget. As we pulled into town, we spotted a tour bus that had slipped into a ditch. Being the helpful people we are, we stopped to lend a hand because two Northern California tech/health care types are exactly who you need in a bus-ditch-slippage emergency. Imagine our surprise to find that the tour bus belonged to none other than Celine Dion…no, Cher…NO, Barbara Streisand and the Young Omar Sharif, and they were going – coincidentally enough – to the very same concert we were. So Himself and I dug around the trunk of the Volkswagon Jetta until we found a rope, a tub of Cool Whip, an abacus, a crow-bar and half a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. And anyone who’s ever watched MacGuyver knows that these are – as luck would have it – the exact tools you need to get a bus out of a ditch. Using precise measurements, the position of the sun, and capitalizing on the change in the bus’ tipping point caused by the temporary relocation of a kimodo dragon, we managed to get the bus back on the road. In appreciation, Omar and Babs offered to let us share their VIP table at the concert, and when the ghost of Johnny Cash tossed a lit match into the ashtray at our table, we took it as a sign and I stuffed it in my purse (the ashtray, not the lit match). A bouncer who’d clearly been sampling some of the resident major league baseball team’s steroid-ade tried to wrestle my purse from me in an effort to retrieve the ashtray that I’d pilfered, but Himself had one of his handy, portable, utlra-short pulsed lasers at the ready, and distracted the bouncer by removing the tattoo of Britney Spears from his forearm.
And that, dear readers, is the REAL story of how I ended up with an ashtray from the Nugget Casino.
*Whew* After that, who really needs to know what I did with it?
Ok, ok…Here’s the before:
So, if you take two pieces of glassware – in this case a piece of golden carnival glass and a Nugget Casino ashtray – and epoxy them together, then mount them on a piece of copper pipe, you can make a little garden lantern to put citronella candles in.
Here’s what it looks like in better light:
Although, it’s unlikely that any of them will get a cool story about a broken down bus and the ghost of Johnny Cash. But then, all anecdotes can’t be at the top of the StoryTelling Food Chain.
So, what do I get for turning a discarded ashtray we found in a dusty box at an antique glass store into both a lovely garden lantern and a World Class Anecdote?
I get +5 Martha Points.
Bringing my new total to: +34 Martha Points.
And for the sake of letting myself bask in that score for just a wee little while, I will NOT be discussing the master bathroom. Nope. Not today.