I could take Candice Olsen

It’s been nagging me a bit.

In quiet, unassuming ways.

A little unsettledness here, a little awkwardness there.

A little stubbing my toe on the bed frame, a little spilling my coffee on the microscopic nightstand…

Small things that were communicating to me that the layout of the bedroom simply wasn’t right.

When we carved the space out of the bedroom for the home office, we decided on an unusual layout where the bed was angled in a corner. I believe this was because a gypsy told me that tragedy would befall my family if I neglected to place the comfy reading chair by the sliding glass door. I was emotionally locked in a place where the comfy reading chair had to sit by the sliding glass door. I was not to be swayed. There was scary gypsy lady and everything.

This made the rest of the room a little awkward to manage, and so the bed ended up angled in a corner.

We told ourselves it was funky and contemporary.

But really, it was just weird and made me feel like I was sleeping facing the wrong direction. All. The. Time.

So someone somewhere gave the gypsy lady a Valium because in recent days the OCD-driven compulsion for the chair to live by the window slipped away.

And many possibilities opened up to me.

(This is only moderately true – there is a cable jack that dictates the location of the TV, a somewhat random closet, and a sliding glass door to work around.)

But still. Possibilities. Open. At least one or two of them.

So Thursday night…chaos ensued.

In addition to chaos, it looks like a bunch of Jordan almonds threw up in the room.

Watch out! It's an engineer and electricity! Stand back!

There's nothing so chaotic a cat can't make it worse.

And here is where my OCD is manifested by tyrannical dusting.

There are not going to be any more pictures of me in this post because the cute, comfy blouse apparently makes me look 14 months pregnant in photos.

"Girl In Photo In Mirror"

"Girl taking Art Shot of new Ikea Lamp"

I actually kinda like that last one.

Apply level to photo.

This is more craziness where I am trying to figure out how high the lamp on the right needs to be to line up with the lamp on the left. I believe at this points I needed one more “Martha Stewart Living” and my family was thinking I needed one more Prozac.

Yes, we often force love upon the cats. Our rhythms are off. The cats typically want love when we are trying to sleep or bathe.

The new office, which has displaced the comfy reading chair.

So once the art gets rearranged and hung, and all is lit by daylight, I’ll take more pictures.

But I so fenged the shui out of this room.

This post happily linked to “Inspired By” at the lovely Inspired Room.

35 comments

    1. The funny thing is that a comment yesterday or the day before mentioned John Stamos.

      And I was never so much about “Full House.”

      I was much more “Family Ties.”

  1. Jordan almonds is hilarious. I too would be obsessed with the lamps being the exact same height. The office next to the window is great. Can’t wait to see it in daylight. It looks very peaceful, like a retreat (which sounds exactly like what Candace Olson would say). I guess we’ll be seeing you on The Next Design Star but in a different top?

    1. Yes, that top is going nowhere near me and a camera ever again.

      And my only worry about the new office locale is too much sun on my computer monitor, rendering it invisible.

      Light blocking drapes may be in my future.

    1. Once all beds were bade and all colors back where they were meant to go, it looked a lot less Jordan-almond-throw-uppy.

      And I am totally loving the new little lamp. It’s like having a Pink Floyd light show in the room.

  2. Here via Twitter and am I glad!

    It took me a minute to realize who Candice Olsen was – I’m not sure why, but I was stuck on Nellie from Little House on the Prairie for some reason.

    You are brilliantly funny – thanks for that post. I tend to spazz and feng the shui out of the living room every 6 months or so.

    1. Ooooh…I hated Nellie!

      But truly, I wasn’t all that much a fan of Laura either.

      Thank you for popping by!

      I should get with the cleaning…

      And you are also very funny. And I so love meeting other spazzy decorating crazies! It makes me feel less alone in the world! ;)

  3. I think that the book in the box, the one entitled “Random Acts of Management” should be prominately DIS played (as some in the South say)!

    And yes, I’m totally into the whole OCD dusting thing!

  4. I’m still giggling over “I fenged the shui out of this room.” Love, love the color on your wall! I’m pretty sure you could give Candice Olsen a run for her money, what with all the cool Ikea lamps and stuff. Very, very hip. And I’ve got some shirts that make it look as if I’m still carrying my 3 year-old. Not a good look, and yet they remain in my closet. Hmm. :)
    Mindy
    http://www.thesuburbanlife.com

    1. Yes…WHY do we keep them?

      Cause self-esteem is such a ROBUST creature that of COURSE we don’t mind looking like we’re about to give birth to an entire Bavarian Village.

      And yet people let us drive cars.

      Crazy.

    1. It’s also a little more distinct from the sleeping part of the room.

      Which is good. Cause there are a zillion things on my desk that blink.

  5. nice job candy! but? i wouldn’t care if the lamps were the same height. actually? i would rather have mis-matching everything – oh wait…i do! much easier to maintain that cozy “lived” in look cause things that don’t match are just naturally more spazzy lookin! hope you topped out on the point chart for this one!!!

    1. I’m totally with you on the no-matchy-matchy thing. It looks far more comfortable (and less like a third rate motel suite) when things are mixed beautifully.

      The problem with the lamps was that because they were SO close in height (plus being identical) that a few inches off just looked…weird!

      Never buying matching lamps again!

  6. It looks great. In as much as you will allow us to see. Love the green. Comfy blouse…no comment. So ?what’s the little itty bitty box the martha stewart magazines are propped up on? Was that too subtle?
    Many Martha Points have been earned here of that I am sure.

    1. The little box is actually a shadow-box that’s meant to hang on a wall with knick-knacks in it.

      Himself was going to hang them for me when we moved into the new house.

      That was four years ago.

    1. The chair just got relocated in the room to one side of the bed.

      No pic yet because the walls are Grinchy-bare with hooks and wire because our monumental effort last night did not extend to hanging the wall art up in new places.

      But more to come!

      1. There is something about an unoccupied surface that just cries out for unfolded laundry to be placed upon it.

        A universal mystery.

  7. I love the fact that you knew everything in the room was wrong, but it HAD to be that way because the one chair? HAD to be by the sliding glass door. And once that requirement is set in stone? Everything else follows from there.

    Love that you realized there was a problem.

    And you are now unlocked.

    The room? It looks fantastic!

    1. Well…I had a reason! (In addition to the gypsy curse.)

      I wanted the comfy reading chair by the sliding glass door because it’s the only natural light source in the room. Reading is better in good light, right? Right??

      But then it turned out that the comfy chair is less about reading and more about being a temporary repository for laundry.

      Laundry can be in any old damned light.

      And I am much happier with the room now. I will be even happier when pictures are hanging on things and not sitting on floors.

      But we ran out of energy last night.

      Tonight…there will be cocktails. There may not be actual art hanging until tomorrow.

  8. Okay, that was hilarious, because I was thinking Candace Cameron, too. Apparently she has the corner on all things Candace.

    Love the new room, and I am exceptionally envious of the ikea lamp. Not so envious that I will buy it. But I will sit here, look at it, and kind of wish I was you because of it.

  9. Me too thinking Candace Cameron…how funny that’s what a lot of us thought! I love the you fenged the shui right out of the room…but shouldn’t it be into the room?!

  10. Your room looks great. I would totally be obsessing over the lamps as well. :) In fact, when I was reading about them, I was thinking I would have have my husband’s laser level out before he could call me crazy three times!

    1. Although Himself is much into the crazy-laser-leveling type thing when it comes to hanging things on the wall, he actually thought I was a bit off my rocker for futzing so desperately over the lamps.

      To each our OCD, I suppose! ;)

  11. We once had our bed angled from a corner. It made the perfect spot for small pets to deposit small gifts that we could not reach easily to clean up!
    That cat looks like it’s thinking “this is the perfect spot to sit”. Why do they pick the most uncomfortable places to sit?

    1. ACK! Cats would have been shipped, postage-due-even, to Siberia!!

      You poor thing!

      And yes, cats have an unerring sense of where they will most be in the way. It’s uncanny!”

  12. I often force love on my cats, too. Well, Isabel loves love. Teva, not so much. When I lived with my ex, we’d make what we call a “Teva sandwich.” It involved a three-way hug with a lot of squirming and scratching. You can probably guess who was doing the squirming and scratching.

    Then ex and I broke up. Now I make “open-faced Teva sandwiches.”

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