My Modesty is the Stuff of Legends


There are people out there.

People who read the words I write here.

It amazes me still.

And then there are people.

People who  not only read the words I write her, but who really love them.

I have tried to get these people into counseling.

They are stubborn.

I have calls out to several physicians and local judges, but these things take time.

Because I worry about these people making their own medical decisions.

Or voting.

I bet these very same people are the reason there are laws that state you cannot shove a moose out of a moving airplane in Michigan. The big questions of course are: 1. Why did such a law actually have to be crafted, and 2.Does that mean shoving a moose out of a stationary airplane is totally copacetic?


Some amazingly wonderful, gifted, potentially unbalanced but utterly lovely individuals have bestowed some bloggy awards upon my fair carcass, and other than offering heartfelt thanks upon their blogs I have done, well, squat about them. And me with my irrational pursuit of all things gracious and good-living-ish. -10 Martha Points.


Today they will get the thank you’s they truly deserve.

JB from Homemaker’s Pensieve:
JB is lovely and routinely leaves funny comments on my blog. In addition, she once posted a graphic I made for her and did “Nyah! Nyah! Nyah” at all her readers.  This, let me tell you, is good for one’s ego. I believe that she has also seen a medical practitioner about that little rash and should be good to back to “work” any day now. JB shared “The Versatile Blogger Award” with me, and well, I think I deserve that one. I’m nothing if not versatile. I’m practically the chicken of the blogging community.

But, you know Bloggers. A cut-throat and vicious group of women if you ever saw one. Not to be outdone by JB, Janice from Lights.Camera.Life. also shared “The Versatile Blogger Award” with me. Note the change in graphics, though. This means that someone out there got the award and just didn’t think the first badge exuded enough of the “Versatile Vibe,” if you will. People, people. Zen. Be the badge. No need to monkey. And I know the monkeying was not Janice. She is too calm and gracious to look at the award someone gave her and say, “You know, it’d be lovely if only…” Janice has also recently signed up for a tri, so it is highly likely that I will stop liking her sometime soon as she’ll probably beat all my times after approximately 11 minutes of training.

Now, Roxane at Roxane’s Days knows the way to a woman’s heart. Gifts. Loot. Booty (in its original meaning.) Stuff. People, are you listening? I can be bought! Email me for lists of sizes and preferred brands and colors. Roxane did a quicky, spontaneous giveaway on Twitter for a iTunes gift card and I won! And I’m parsing out purchases slowly like the annoying little sister who eats her Halloween candy one piece a day and still has some left at Christmas when you finished off all yours before getting home on October 31st. I did buy two songs from the soundtrack to “Les Mis” last night though. See how deep and artsy I am? Roxane gave me the “Sunshine Award.” And while it may or may not be appropriate for me, it was certainly appropriate for her. Roxane lights up a” room” when she comes in (I had to use quotes because I have never actually been in a room when Roxane has walked in it other than online, but she sure lights up the virtual spaces she’s in) and you wouldn’t even know that she paid everyone off.

Sometimes someone get so enthused about something you write, so energetic, so worked up, that it does a number on you. “Yes, yes!” you think,”I’m amazing! I’m the next Erma Bombeck! Any second now the email asking me to write a regular feature for the Chicago Times is going to show up! I know it!” So it is possible that these people are doing nothing but setting you up for huge disappointments and need for anti-depressants.But Cass, over at Casa di Cass, is one of those people who has cracked up so hard at things I’ve written that I am sometimes convinced that I’ve got some actual mojo over here. And in addition to that, she gave me her own personal “AwesomeSauce Award.” The piece that pushed her over the edge was “The Princess and the Pain,” and, were it not for the fact that I wrote it owing to a trip to the emergency room, it’d be one of my personal faves too.

And here is an award I actually earned. Having convinced Liz over at A Belle, A Bean and a Chicago Dog, KLZ over at Taming Insanity, and Nathalie at Mommy of a Monster that I can be as ruthless and cold-blooded as the next blogger with a piece called “Snark Bait“, I was promoted in The Family to “Made Man.” I am still waiting for specific instructions on who I get to squeeze, ice, threaten or leave a horsehead in the bed of with this promotion, but you know how big beaurocracies are. These things take time. There are policies and procedures to follow and the unions can be murder. But I’m sure I’ll hear any day now.

That wraps us this edition of “People Who Think I’m Great.” Some of these awards are of the “pass along” type, but after the first few, it seemed a little awkward to keep doing that. So I’d like you to take a gander at that list over on the right hand side of the blog. These are blogs that I love. These are people who support me, who encourage me and tell me that I’m doing something entertaining over here. And their blogs are all amazing reads with wonderful things to share.

Incredible people abound in this world we all share.


  1. I have to check out some new blogs now! Because if they’re on your read list, they probably should be on mine too :)

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…I’d read anything that you have, are, or will write. Anything. Even your grocery list is probably interesting and witty.

    1. Principally my grocery lists are illegible.

      Himself often brings home odd things and I say, “Why did you buy gerkins?” and he says, “You put it on the list.” And I look at the list and *I* see “celery.”

      I can sort of see how he got gerkins, though.

    1. Hee! That would be a funny stunt. I’d probably make the news.

      “Local woman blogs grocery list under blanket at Safeway.”

      I think people from various county agencies would feel compelled to make an appearance.

      With white coats.

  2. I love you. So much.

    I light up the virtual spaces? Ah, you stop that, making me blush and stuff!

    And yeah, I’m all about buying peoples’ love. Glad to have purchased yours. YAY!

    1. You are adorable when you get all blushy.

      And don’t measure your benchmarks by me. I’m easy.

      Ask anyone.

      Many a restroom decorated with misspellings of my name. ;)

  3. While I did read your entire post — and you are awesome, it’s true — I confess to getting hung up in the Moose-Law paragraph. In addition to the questions you’ve raised, I’m wondering about how you get a moose on a plane in the first place.

    I’d imagine it’s not easy, so then this begs the question why you’d want to kick him off (airborne or not).

    (Perhaps this is MI’s version of the NJ cow-tipping thing we’re supposedly doing out here late at night in the rural Garden State.)

    Something else to keep me up at night, thinking. I thank you.

    1. It may not be Michigan, I’d have to ask my son who shared this silliness with me, but there is a state that has such a law.


      And glad to contribute to your insomnia. I live for these little moments of public service.

  4. You are too sweet! And no…I didn’t change the badge. And yes…I will probably beat your swim time as I’m convinced I’m going to be eaten by a shark so my plan is to get my rear out of the water as fast as humanly possible. I just keep telling myself, “All you have to do is be faster than the shark.” That’s possible, right?

    1. Umm…are you swimming in the ocean?

      I swim in lakes. I don’t think there are sharks in lakes.

      At least, in MY universe there are no sharks in lakes.


  5. OOOh…I DO have to see the Dr. Too many ppl I like tell me I shouldn’t be all hooked on them…

    what does that say about me? them? I already know, we are the few, the confused, the all about the funny!!

    LOVE YOUR BLOG. And I’m going to treat myself to someone on your sidebar..thank you very much.

    1. We are all lovely insane all together.

      Which is one of the reasons this whole blogging thing is so damned much fun!

      And you, dear one, are lovely.

    1. I’m not certain it’s Michigan, I was just pretty sure it was an M state.

      So, in the absence of a clear pointer to moose ridiculosity, Nebraska gets to maintain the wearing of the crown.

      But Nebraskan moose pushing? That would have been a permanent crown.

  6. I almost never pass these on, but I almost always thank the gifter.

    Because anyone who thinks I’m awesome is awesome.

    But probably also needs professional help.

    Maybe we should co-sponsor an asylum.

    1. Now that has potential.

      Do we go with the loud, bold, work everybody into a frenzy colors? Or the dull muted, land-of-the-living dead colors?

  7. I was first introduced to your blog site on “Bungalow ’56” (another of my very favorites because Canadians are so gosh-darn fascinating!) I have been laughing with you (not AT you) ever since. A true compliment is when another blogger thinks, “I wish I would have written that!” And I think that a lot when I read your blog. You are one of the best out there!

    1. That is a very high compliment indeed!!

      And any friend of Dana’s is a happy friend of mine. She is good people.

      And I’m always laughing – so it’s always “with.”

  8. Congrats on the awards. I know it’s an honor just to be nominated but you deserved to win those. Your acceptance speech was great. Thanks for the list on the side. I’ve been curious what blogs you follow; which ones interest you.

  9. well now I want to give you an award so you will say nice things about me. Maybe I will just make up some award for you…hmmmm….

    While I ponder that, I am going to go read some of the blogs you love. Because they must be wonderful!

    1. I need no excuse to say nice things about you, dear one, but if you WANTED to give me an award, well…it would be rude to deny you that warm satisfaction, wouldn’t it??

  10. Listen chick! Having earned myself a useless degree in Psychology 20 years ago, I think I am qualified (smirk) to counsel you here. And I think it’s time to get a little zen on your a$$! It’s time to accept that you attract the crazies, okay? The sooner you accept that fact, the easier your life will be! Peace out, dude.

    P.S. And what rash are you talking about? Did I say something out loud that I didn’t realize I was saying out loud? It’s just poison ivy for god’s sake! Don’t ask me how it got between my knees either!

    P.P.S. I’m pretty sure if I was only allowed to read one blog (besides my own, of course), yours would be it. Sorry if the blog love makes you uncomfortable ;)

    1. I have long known that I attract the crazies…it’s something about me.

      It just shocks me sometimes when the crazies are so sweet and generous to me!

      And that last bit is one of the kindest compliments I have received, dear lady!

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