Go! Now!

Life is what happens to you while you were busy making other plans.

-John Lennon

Imagine the web we spin ourselves.

Not a web of lies, not a tangled web.

Well, it’s probably tangled.  But unless you have major issues, your web is tangled by life, not by lies.

Your web is tangled by your job and your kids, by the broken toilet in the upstairs bath and the unpaid dentist’s bill. It is complicated by the siblings you love but who ask for crazy things, and the parents you adore but who are needing you more than they used to.

And you hurry to and fro, patching the web here, spinning more thread to support something over there, wrapping a cocoon around something to protect it way over yonder, and then zipping back to the center to barely catch your breath before something tears the web over in the back forty.

Off you go again.

And at some point you stop and think, when did my life become this web?

Where did this shape come from? When did I become a weaver? I was going to be a cowgirl!

Only now so many things depend on the web that you can’t just walk away and find a horse.

Your children live there, and so does your relationship. Possibly your career, and certainly it is your home.

You don’t want to let all those things crash to the ground just so you can wear a big hat.

So you sit there and look around at your web. You love it, you made it, you are proud of it. But…a little bit…you resent it.

You resent how much it needs you, how so much of what it needs only seems to be able to come from you, from the threads you spin and the patterns you weave.

Where would you ever fit a horse?

And when you think a little  bit harder, you really don’t like cows all that much if they’re not in a Big Mac and what you really want from the whole cowgirl experience is sunshine and some of the cute fringy clothes.

I am here to tell you that sunshine and cute fringy clothes will fit in your web. They will fit in your life.

We think so often in terms of big bites. And sometimes we need them. We need big, giant, flavorful, all-you-can-eat bites.

But sometimes that is – if you’ll forgive the pun – biting off more than we can chew.

I posted a piece a couple of weeks ago that talked about the leap. And sometimes that is all we can do. We must leap to save ourselves, to save our sanity.

But what do we do when the leap is too much, or…sometimes…impossible?

That’s when we sit down with a soothing drink, and ponder.

Like Pooh Bear. But less fuzzy. (Well, I’m looking at my legs and thinking, “maybe just as fuzzy.”)

Think small this time.  Think about the little step that changes the color of your world just a little.

Think about the change that brings you a breath closer to the person you see inside when you close your eyes.

Then take a sip of the drink and plan out how, in the next seven days, you will get that one little thing done.

‘Cause Lori told me I had to.

And you know that come seven days from now, I’m going to ask you.

So Go! Now!

I’m dying to hear.

41 comments

  1. Woman, you are a wonder!

    I have been working on another blog, getting it ready for publication. It is one that’s going to take a LOT longer than the other ones I write on. It’s a much more specific topic than the others, and it’s not going to be as big, or bold as the others, but it’s something very near and dear to my heart. And it may end up being the most important one, for me.

    I just opened the doors today. And when I got back to the “main shop”, there was this post!

    Talk about fabulous timing! Just how many Martha Points do you get for ESP?

    1. That sounds like something I would like to read.

      Only…I am drowning in blogs and comments these days, and I don’t want to miss it.

      So when you launch, could you send me an email please so I can make sure to catch it??

      And I have ZERO ESP. None. I have anti-intuition.

      But sometimes? I do get lucky. :)

      1. *snort* Well, I think your anti-intuition takes weekends off.

        Actually, this new blog is called Brea’s Earth. It’s Pagan, and is an online Book of Shadows – containing spells, ceremonies, etc. It’s something I’ve been working on, but I’m not really expecting a lot of the people I’ve met on the blogosphere to really get into, but I do have some pagan friends on here that have been wondering when I’m going to get to that facet.

        All my open blogs are listed on my Brea’s Air page as a “homepage” on the blogroll. If you really want, feel free to visit, but like I said, I’m not worried about it. I do this *waving hands over my head* for me. The Air page is my baby, my first love – the other pages are more for the less-seen sides of my personality.

        “Taking the leap” as it were…

  2. “siblings you love but who ask for crazy things”

    “Crazy”? Nothing I’ve requested has been “crazy”. “Eccentric”, maybe, with the occasional “absurd”.

    Oh, also, while I’ve got you, I need genetic material from everyone in your household, including the animals.

    Actually, the animals are more urgent. I can get yours the next time I’m up there.

    1. That post had more to do with a certain online friend’s certain sister, but…well…if the size 14 shoe fits….

      And you should not in print tempt me to send Nimbus to you in a box.

      ‘Cause you will find COD Cat on your doorstep.

  3. Jeezopee. Man. Wow.

    What a reminder.

    A long time ago, I used to keep a really pathetically-written online “diary.” There was a post that was reminiscent (though wildly less thought-out and grammatically correct) of this. And I just went back and read it. There were many uses of the words “leap” and “jump.”

    So thank you for taking me back, and moving me forward. Mwah!

    1. Leap and jump are powerful words there.

      And I love how you credit me with “thought-out” and “grammatical.”

      Such a lovely sense of humor you have!

  4. I’m so glad to hear that everyone else has a web! I thought I had some overthinking disorder.

    It’s hard when you’re trying to keep your web perfectly spotless and gnats keep flying into it. You can’t repel those damn things no matter how hard you try.

    My one thing – organizing my boxes stuffed with paperwork. Or just unpacking.

    1. Sticky, tangly, complex, brain-snarling webs.

      yes.

      And those damned gnats. And bats. Let’s not forget the Kamikaze Bats.

      Ok. Organizing paperwork boxes. Or any unpacking of any kind.

      Got it.

      Ready…set….go!

      (Ok, if you must have chocolate first that is totally okay, too.)

  5. I’ve already got my baby step I’m taking, that you know about via email. :)

    I am usually a fan of just leaping. I have a hard time with baby steps. I’m a go big or go home, inpatient sort of person.

    Stay tuned!

    1. 1. That is not a baby step, woman, that’s a big, juicy deal.

      2. I am the same way. Now now now! Big! Giant! High-Impact!

      Except…damnit…I can’t do that all day every day, with every thing. And if I wait until I can…well…then nothing gets done, nothing changes.

      So this was a reminder to ME as much as something to share.

      And I am WAY tuned. In. On. Over?

  6. Xander and I are leaving in 10 days for a quick trip south – my mom’s 80th birthday. Family is descending from all over the country – from her OLDER living siblings all the way to great-grandkids. Its going to be a great weekend.

    And all that my mother has asked for from everyone is to bring a memory to share. I’m taking the next week and a half to compose something that might barely scratch the surface of what my mother means to me. Impossible.

    But I have to try for her. She always did find a way to do the impossible for me.

    1. 80 trips around the sun…hard to imagine…

      Excellent taste your mom has in gifts.

      And I know how you are with words. It will be amazing. Agonizing, perhaps. But amazing.

  7. So if I was thinking just an hour before this, how I need to decide now to stop needing and craving acceptance from everyone around me, stop worrying if what I said, did, and wore were okay by everyone else, and just care about if it’s okay with me, then Lori would tell me “Go! Now!” Right?

    1. Online friendships are so funny!

      In my head, you are a tough as nails, take-charge-along-with-the-nailgun sort of woman and acceptance be damned.

      And maybe outwardly you are, even.

      Inside…oh inside is where the gooey center is no matter how crispy our exterior.

      And I say it’s all about quality. Which you have in spades and bunches.

      And as we know, everyone thinks they have great taste. But they don’t.

      So if there are people out there who don’t appreciate your quality, well, they probably think they have brilliant senses of humor too.

      So let them go. Or their opinions at least.

      And Yes. Lori says, “Go! Now!” (You can tell when she’s serious because she talks about herself in the third person.)

  8. Honestly, if I get my sunroom completed or nearly completed in the next 7 days, my web would become slightly less complicated because it would allow me to move things temporarily sitting all over the house to the spot where they belong in that dang sunroom. My web would then be at least a bit neater and easier to deal with. Cross your fingers.

    1. And in addition to your life being a little more calm and organized…those of us who have been watching each little change will get to see it!

      (But I am totally only thinking of you here. Yes I am!)

      Fingers and toes crossed!

  9. i have no idea how to do baby steps. I go big and succeed or big and fail, but little? hmmm…i will have to work on that.

    changing classrooms is a baby step for me, I guess. It’s my first step OUT of my English teacher identity and into a new Spanish teacher identity. Sigh…we will see.

    1. Yes, I am much that way.

      And that way just isn’t always practical and then I get stuck thinking if I can’t go big, I should go home. (To quote Gigi.)

      That is simply not the best way to do things all the time.

      And a new identity is sort of a big deal! You saucy senorita, you!

  10. It’s funny you should write this, when it’s really been on my mind lately. Not the fuzzy legs part (check), but the taking steps part. It’s nice to have a little nudge. A little encouragement to work on MYSELF and not others.

  11. A soothing drink always helps. Though one too many soothing drinks and you’ll probably end up regretting the leap you take or you’d do it more awesome.

    1. I like my soothing drinks with little umbrellas.

      Add up enough little umbrellas and you can be Mary Poppins.

      Which occasionally get you kicked out of the nicer establishments, though.

  12. What great thoughts you have! I don’t have space in my web for more than little tiny steps. Perhaps that’s better. My dreams are often bigger than my web. But I love to remember that “to everything there is a season” and that helps a bit. Right now is not my season for large, miraculous personal leaps, but time for little leaps that mostly include my children. Great post!

    1. The trick, I think, is being able to tell ourselves when the little steps are okay. When they’re the best thing to do. When small adjustments just feel…better.

      And little leaps that include children are a wonderful, wonderful kind!

    1. Brilliance in the air.

      Except that I incapable of spelling “brilliance” correctly on the first try.

      Slightly tarnished brilliance, perhaps.

      In need of spell-check.

  13. Oh no! Due to circumstances that will be shared at a later date, I missed this…. Such a great post. I love analogy posts. Looooove them. And yours, here, now, even though I’m several days behind all of your other loyal followers was the absolute best. I was there stuck in the web. You had me spinning too. How is it, we can live the same life? Except different. You write about it, I read about it.
    One of those posts lady, one of those posts.
    Dana

    1. D’oh!

      Now I’m all curious about the circumstances!

      And I love saying things that resonate with other people.

      It’s one of the best gifts of the blog.

      Truly.

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