This not a real post. Today’s real post is at Taming Insanity’s Place. Go there and read about how NOT to ship a dog. Which, tragically, I know from personal experience.
Me: I’m not posting today.
You: Umm…Lori? This looks a lot like a post.
Me: Yes, I know it looks like a post, but it’s not.
You: It’s sitting here, taking up space on your blog, looking remarkably like a post.
Me: Ok, you’re not listening very well here. I said it wasn’t a post! And…okay…let’s start over…This thing here looks like a post but it’s not really an official post.
You: You have your posts notarized?
Me: Not all of them no, and that’s not what I mean.
You: You’re being less clear than usual here.
Me: *sigh* I didn’t know that was possible. Now listen, you’re not being as cooperative as I need you to be.
You: Well, Lori dear, you’re being a little bit ridiculous and confusing.
Me: Okay, no fair softening me up by calling me sweet names here, I’m trying to accomplish something and you are not jumping on the bandwagon, as it were.
You: The bandwagon is uncomfortable and loud and makes us motion sick.
Me: Yes, okay, I can see that. We won’t jump on a bandwagon, we’ll jump on…on…a hovercraft! We’ll all jump on a hovercraft!!
You: Do you have a hovercraft?
Me: No, but I don’t have a bandwagon and you weren’t splitting hairs like that then!
You: Nothing constructive is going to happen here if you shout at us.
Me: Okay, yes, you’re right…let me get myself together here…Okay, let’s start one more time. So today, instead of proper post where I talk about points…
You: You don’t talk about points all that often anyway.
Me: STOP INTERRUPTING! We are going to be here all day!
You: Well, you do tend to go on and on.
Me: Yes, well, this is true. But let me finish! Instead of a proper post I am going to go back through my comments for the past week or two and visit blogs. You see, I have this mounting anxiety.
Me: Okay, yes, in addition the bees and the cats staring at me in the shower I have other anxieties that are slightly less ridiculous. I have this anxiety that I do not get to all the blogs I want to read. I have this anxiety that as Purse and Boots gets busier I will finding reading the blogs I love, and the blogs that I know I would love if I could just get to them, even harder. So I feel like if I have a day where I’m not hugely compelled to write something about the house, the cats, the kids or the grime, then I should go read people’s blogs, right? RIGHT?
You: Okay. That sounds reasonable.
Me: We could have been here five minutes ago if you’d just let me finish!!
You: Well how were we supposed to know you were going to actually make sense?
Me: Good point.
And now I’m going to read. If you haven’t left a comment in the last few days but you’ve been saying to yourself, “Damnit, when is Lori going to get around to reading my blog!” Leave me a comment today and I will go. Pinky promise.