How well do you really know Lori?
Because I’m going to throw some trash your way.
You need to decide what the one piece of quality material in this huge pile of rubbish is.
Gina, from the lovely blog, Three Ring Cottage, tagged me in the game Fact or Fiction.
So where, in this steaming heap o’ manure, is the one piece of reality?
1. While living in England I managed to offend the entire patient population of an outpatient neuro center by telling one of them to sit down and keep their fanny warm. This is a fairly crass thing to say as in England “fanny” refers to your girlie bits.
2. While working a rodeo at the age of 14, my bustiness was enough to convince the event coordinator that I was of age and he gave me and my girlfriend a couple six-packs in addition to cash payment.
3. I have gotten out of no fewer than three traffic tickets by crying and/or acting dumb and cute, including one time by explaining how I was deathly allergic to bees. (For the record, I am not.)
4. A family vacation was cancelled as a child because the coastal resort we were supposed to be staying at was taken over by a pod of mating elephant seals. My biggest source of grief over the cancelled vacation was not being able to see elephant seals being naughty.
5. After frightening Joe Montana out of a local market (he lives around here) by recognizing him (which he really hates), when I got to check-out the cashier threatened to break all my eggs.
6. At a club in San Francisco, a heel broke on my psychotically high-heeled shoes forcing me to walk with a bizarrely uneven gait. The security team at the door noticed and my partner in crime then claimed that I had been assaulted by a bunch of high frat boys. We were waved in past the waiting crowd and comped our cover charge.
So which of those juicy tidbits is true about yours truly?
Can you tell?