I mentioned last week that my nightmare of a neighbor* (not Backyard Neighbor) lined her roofline with pumpkins and that this was CLEARLY a call to arms.
A summons, if you will.
Calling me out as surely as if she’d stood in front of my house and screamed “STELLLLAAAAAA!!!!”
Despite Stella not actually being my name.
But there are no movies where anyone stands in front of a house and screams “LORRRRIIIIII!!!”
The heroine is NEVER named Lori.
Not that I’m bitter or have role-model issues.
Some people expressed confusion about how this worked. How did this wretched woman* manage to get pumpkins on her roof?
Allow me to illustrate.
Here is an artist’s (and I use the term very loosely) rendering of her house. Here is the unadorned house, just so you can appreciate what I already have to deal with.
Even without holiday adornment, this house is just…perfect. I left out the tree on the right with the swing and the bench, and the sweet little dove-cote in the front yard. And we’ll say that I left those out because I did not want to clutter the visual image and that it has nothing to do with getting tired of illustrating or running out of time.
Because for you, I would paint until my mouse hand fell off.
So here is what it looks like now.
You will notice (of course you will notice because I am now pointing it out to you) that her roofline is flat. MY roofline is pitched. I cannot put mini pumpkins along my roofline without a nail gun. And Himself put the kibosh on THAT plan. Cause he hates Halloween and hates it when I’m happy although he claims it’s because of the damage to the roof the fact that it will cause the pumpkins to rot.
But I think we can all see through that obviously transparent excuse.
Now allow me to offer some suggestions for what the horrid woman’s* house could look like if I were allowed to take off the creative reins, so to speak.
I should probably mention that Himself locked the shed where we keep the paint, so it is unlikely my vision will be realized.
But I figure he has to sleep sometime.
*It should be mentioned that I have never met this woman, spoken with this woman, nor would I even recognize her if I bumped into her at the local Neighborhood Watch meeting, which I’m sure if she ever saw this blog she would rapidly become a member of. In truth, she is probably just as lovely as her house.