That’s brilliant, isn’t it? I can barely get people to remember that I’m not called Martha. So that’s just what we need. More names.
I, dear readers, am a study in contrasts.
You could say I’m deep…conflicted. Torn between extremes and wrestling with the big questions.
You’d be wrong, of course, but go ahead and say those things. I like when people think I’m smart. And deep.
I could be deep. I have depths!
Serious, unplumbed depths! Deep, deep depths!
Anyone who is cheered up by a Snicker’s bar is about as deep as a shot glass.
See what I mean?
Anyway, for yours truly, “study in contrasts” is a nice way of saying “wishy-washy.” Or if I’m feeling particularly uncharitable, “confused.”
So, in an effort to keep up in the great Pumpkin War of 2010, I – you may recall – broke out the Halloween decor.
I am so not to be trifled with.
However, I seem to be suffering some sort of Halloween split personality disorder.
For instance, you may remember this, which sits on the hutch:
But then I have this on the front step:
Ok, well we can’t have any of that. I want my guests to be freaked out. So I have these:
In which case maybe I shouldn’t have this hanging on the front door:
And if I’m really tying to create an ambience of unease and give people chills with this:
Then maybe I should knock off buying stuff like this:
Do you see where I’m going here?
Or, more accurately, do you see how I’m failing to get ANYWHERE here?
I can’t decide if I want cute and charming or horrid and freaky. And so I end up with both which ultimately causes an emotional state known in the health care industry as, “Huh?”
As a former performance artist, I can tell you that “huh?” is about the WORST reaction you can get from a viewing audience.
I don’t know what to do about this.
But I can tell you whose fault it is.
The tramp with the pumpkins on her roof.