Lately, WordPress has been deciding that some of my friends are lunchmeat.
And by lunchmeat I mean spam.
I don’t know what has made WP re-classify them as a processed meat product. I mean, I’m sure they’re delicious and all, but they’ve been leaving comments for MONTHS so it seems a little random to decide NOW that they’re behaving inappropriately. It’s not like they’ve recently begun embedding a dozen links to anatomical enlargement websites in their comments or anything.
So I was reviewing the spam folder for honest-to-goodness humans, and saw a few places where my blog as been linked. And one about pet care caught my eye so I clicked.
This is where I ended up:
If memory serves, and it does, “The Assault” is a post about my plan to catapult my vicious cat onto an unsuspecting neighbor in order to destroy her Halloween decorations.
PEOPLE! DO NOT FLING YOUR PETS!
That post is NOT a tutorial.
That post will NOT help you keep the local cats from using your garden as a public restroom.
Do NOT catapult cats out of your garden and onto your neighbors roofs!
And as a PSA, I will also suggest that the post about Merkel expecting Germany’s neighbors to knuckle under (and excuse me? Who the hell is Merkel and why is he being so damned oppressive towards his neighbors? Do they have pumpkins on their roofs?) and the one about it being “Almost November” will also probably not help in this situation. I doubt Merkel really cares where the hell a cat is deciding to do its business if his life’s goal is international domination, and I seriously doubt that cats have seasonal changes in their waste disposal habits that make November any more or less problematic.
And if you can find a way to keep outdoor cats from shedding on your car that doesn’t involve electrifying the surface, patent that baby. And does it really matter if the cats in question that are shedding are your car are stray or not? Do we expect the cats from good homes to know better? Is this a class thing?
Regardless, I now feel compelled to make sure people know that I am not advocating throwing animals as a way to protect the begonias.
So don’t do it.
And also, ferrets are not the same as cats. But don’t put them in a catapult either.
Programming Note: I am very pleased to be one of the featured bloggers this week over at Kris’ place, Pretty All True. And if somehow you have managed to miss this blog, go now and read. It is, without doubt, one of my favorites because the way Kris puts words together is absolutely magical.