Imagine that you are a 14-year-old boy.
Imagine that you are a 14-year-old boy that is not only first-born, but an only child until you turn 10.
Then imagine that you are a 14-year-old boy who suddenly goes from a one-parent/one-child house to a two-parent/three-child house.
Think about sleep patterns of first-born kids and only children.
Both are light-sleepers. Put the two of them together in one child and you get light-sleeper squared.
When we moved into this lovely, four-bedroom house, Child A was the smallest child.
He is not now. He is taller than me, and certainly taller than his sister, Child C.
But because Child A was the smallest child he got the smallest room.
This was because we failed to consider the light-sleeperness in relation to the room we put him in.
Smarts and us are sometimes not so familiarly acquainted.
Here is a map.
We’ve lived in this house four years this February.
Child C has slept approximately seventeen minutes.
There is no improved arrangement of his room. Due to an awkwardly placed closet, a narrow room, a one-sided captains bed, there is no floorplan that makes Child A’s proximity to noise any better. The only improved furniture arrangement is the one where his bed gets moved into Child B’s room, and Child B joins the Peace Corps.
So in a desperate attempt to distance Child A’s head from the noise-fest in the kitchen, we made a new headboard and flip-flopped where his head is at.
He’s slept that way one night so far.
The preliminary verdict: Better from a noise standpoint, but he nearly fell out of bed twice.
So our new score is:
Noise: 0 Gravity: 1