I was going to Martha it up this weekend.
I was going to Elf like it was Christmas Eve and Mrs. Claus left the liquor cabinet unlocked.
Yes, “elf” is now a verb. Make a notation in your dictionary.
To elf: To behave in a creatively holiday way. To engage in crafting/cooking/wrapping for Christmas. Especially in a manner that will make neighbors and relatives annoyed with the Christmas-y miracle that is you.
We have some neighbors of whom we are fond.
Not THAT neighbor.
We also have a few friends with whom we exchange holiday goodies.
So each year we do a small bake-a-thon to give something from the Nummy Family to these people.
This year we decided to make mini-loaves of bread.
Himself even made a stop at a cooking supply shop to get the wee bread pans.
Talk about bloody adorable.
We selected three recipes: Pumpkin Spice, Chocolate-Chip Banana, and Ginger Molasses.
Despite the chocolate chips in the banana bread, I was most excited about the Ginger Molasses. A dear friend made a loaf for us last year and we were in bread heaven.
On Saturday, we baked and we baked, and made 12 loaves of the Pumpkin Spice and the Chocolate Chip Banana.
Individually wrapped for freshness.
Our house smelled divine.
On Sunday after breakfast, we launched into the final recipe.
The Ginger Molasses.
The Ginger Molasses bread has stout in it.
We did NOT drink the stout while we were baking.
That’s going to be important in a minute.
We looked at the recipe and compared it to the other recipes that had conveniently made exactly six mini-loaves each.
This recipe did not seem like it would make quite enough, so we increased the recipe by 50%.
I think that was our problem.
Somewhere in converting a dozen ingredients to their 150% equivalents was our problem.
Because we did not get Ginger Molasses bread.
We got this:
We got a sunken, bread-like substance.
If it seems like those loaves in the background are less crater-like that is simply because they are not in focus. Trust me. Six loaves of pocked pseudo-bread.
Which suggests that these will still work as gifts as long as our friends and neighbors are all nearsighted and have universally misplaced their eyewear.
We did consider spackling…I mean…frosting them.
But some of those craters were so deep that that was just not going to work unless we were going to pretend that we’d been shooting for the Twinkie standard, and still somehow come up short.
All I can say is that it’s a good thing these were not meant to be houses – that’d be a FEMA disaster situation for sure.
- Points for making the breads: +15 Martha Points
- Penalty for crater-fail: -10 Martha Points
- Net total gain: +5 Martha Points
The only good part was for the kids. After a weekend of baking things there were not allowed to eat, they were thrilled to hear that these were NOT considered fit enough for gifts.
They don’t get why, they’re just thrilled.
PPNB Giveaway Alert: Trashy stuff over at the Project: Purse and Boots website. You know you want to try and win it, don’t you?