I have to dispose of all my 2010 lists now.
Woefully out-of-date. Obsolete.
Much like my hair style and these leggings.
Those old past-their-sell-by-date lists include things like:
- Become famous
- Become rich
- Write “Eat, Pray, Love.”
- Be regularly mistaken for Catherine Zeta Jones
Not necessarily in that order.
And, let’s be honest. Those things are all overdone. Passe.
It’s a new year, I need a new list.
So, for 2011:
- Invent anti-fat
- Win a sweepstake by not entering (also acceptable, win a lottery by not entering)
- Become the first person to successfully circumnavigate Bill O’Reilly’s ego
- Launch a cutting edge fashion movement around pink fuzzy slippers and pizza stains
- Create a scale model of the Sistine Chapel in macaroni art
- Interview Ellen DeGeneres and/or Opus the Penguin for the first IPoMP Newsletter (with bonus search-a-word)
- Write 2010 on no fewer than six hundred and seventeen checks
- Scour the planet for purple sequined Keds
- Establish inter-species communication with meerkats
I have no timetable for these objectives. Timetables are for the stifled, the bourgeoisie, if you will.
You and I, we don’t set our lives by the turn of the calendar or the tick of the clock.
Those things are for people who don’t understand the global imperative of sparkly footwear.
We’re a cut above, you and I.
What’s on your list?