Many of you have asked for an update on the “Promoting Lori to the Queen of All Things” movement. And by “asked” I of course mean “with your eyes and your longing looks.”
You know I’m a sucker for your longing looks.
The minutes of the last executive meeting show that while there was a motion to order the next pizza with extra cheese, ham and pineapple, I do not yet see that a formal nomination for “Lori – Queen Goddess Extraordinaire” has been made.
So while I’m a sucker for the longing looks, I am gonna knock some heads if someone doesn’t get ON that.
But let’s be forward thinking.
When I become the Ruler of All I will need a tiara.
But not just any tiara.
Not a boring tiara.
Not a pedestrian tiara.
That is so not me.
I need jewels. Bling.
And a few….accessories.
First, let’s review a typical tiara.
But this is ME.
So first, let’s think about what I’m going to need after a late night of signing decrees, having homage paid, blessing the masses and rejoicing with the peasants.
Yes, some caffeine. AT THE READY, PEOPLE!
We do not mess around. Mornings are a bitch after a heavy night of reigning.
But later, of course, after a long, hard day of proclamations and scepter waving a Queen needs to unwind. Which means the tiara ALSO needs:
Do I have THE most brilliant queendom or WHAT?
Right. So now I have my coffee to wake up, and my cocktail to unwind.
But a Queen has to keep in touch with her subjects, doesn’t she? And she CANNOT abide dead zones, dropped calls or Tweets that fail to update.
So, of course, I need:
I love the wireless age, don’t you?
So I think we’re almost there.
But something’s missing.
I will be copyrighting this design.
Or…patenting this design.
Something. There will be some legal protection for this design. I don’t care if it’s adoption agreement.
Uh..and, I’m sorry…this is so awkward, but I’ll need you all to sign this little non-disclosure agreement.
Cause we simply can NOT have this getting out.