Introducing The Martha Points Scale. A 100 point spread on the relative “Martha-y-ness” of my house.
The Martha Points Scale is a tally of the various positive/negative points I can earn by doing/ignoring various things in my home. A Martha Point is a self-assigned point (or lack thereof) that I give to myself based on my mood at the time a complex formula involving intergrel calculus.
On luanch day we started the scale at ZERO. Why? Because I had too many martinis can! Because we are starting with a clean slate. Because if I gave myself my TRUE launch-day score I would crawl into a closet, lock the door and ask my family to feed me liquified food through a long bendy straw.
And now for the education of the readers, here are some examples of ways I can move up and/or down the scale.
- Making the bed: +5 points
- Making the bed without mummifying a cat in the sheets: +8 points
- Filling the birdfeeders: +5 points
- Removing starved bird corpses: -10 points (although really, that one could go either way)
- Vacuuming: +10 points
- Losing track of the color of the carpet: -10 points
- Losing ability to see out the windows: -10 points
- Losing the cats: -10 points
- Losing the kids: -10 points
- Losing the kids inside the house: -50 points
- Hosting a party in a sparkling, freshly painted home with canapes, chilled champagne and witty conversation all while landing747’s at the San Francisco International Airport: +50 points
- Losing the 747 in the Bay: -50 points (but with an optional +10 point bonus if the champagne stays bubbly.)
So you see? It’ll be ever so much easier to self-motivate and keep the house in a Martha-Worthy state with this handy means of visual feedback.
I’ll post updates whenever the Prozac kicks in I have something interesting to share.